The moment I received my assignment to the Secular Institute of the Two Hearts (SITH), a wave of emotions washed over me—excitement, anxiety, and a hint of disbelief. My batchmates and I were about to embark on a life-changing journey, yet the reality of what lay ahead felt daunting. The news that both Olivia and Sia would be joining me in this new chapter brought a flicker of comfort, but it didn’t fully quell the storm brewing inside.
As we boarded the plane to the Philippines, I braced myself for what would turn out to be one of the longest flights of my life. I can still recall the slightly cramped seats for an international flight, the hum of the engines, and the anticipation that filled the cabin. Sleep was my refuge during the lengthy journey, allowing me to escape the bubbling anxiety, even if just for a moment. The layover in Tokyo felt surreal—a brief pause in our whirlwind adventure, yet it served as a reminder of how far we had come and how much further we still had to go.
Upon arrival in the Philippines, the air was thick with humidity and the scent of something unfamiliar. It was both exhilarating and terrifying, a stark contrast to the life I had known. But it was the conversations about Novitiate that truly seized my thoughts. The sisters spoke with a gravity that sent shivers down my spine, emphasizing that Postulancy was merely the tip of the iceberg. Novitiate, they said, would be the ultimate test of our commitment to the religious life. My heart raced at the prospect; if Postulancy had felt like a challenge, what awaited me in this next phase?
Fear and nervousness danced in my chest, whispering doubts and questions. What had I signed myself up for? Was I truly meant for this path? Each word from my the sisters echoed in my mind, intensifying my trepidation. Yet, amidst the uncertainty, I felt a flicker of hope. The shared experience with Olivia and Sia reminded me that I was not alone in this journey.
As we stood on the threshold of Novitiate, ready to step into the unknown, I realized that this was more than just a test—it was an opportunity for growth, transformation, and deepening my connection to faith and community. With my heart full of apprehension and anticipation, I took a deep breath, ready to embrace whatever was to come. After all, it is in the face of the unknown that we often discover our true selves.
As I stepped off the plane, I felt the weight of the world shift beneath my feet. That day marked a profound turning point in my life—a moment I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams. The humid air of the Philippines enveloped me, a stark contrast to the sterile coolness of the airplane cabin. My heart raced with excitement and trepidation as we were greeted by someone they called “Kuya.”
In Tagalog, "Kuya" means "older brother," a term that conveys familiarity and warmth. This gentle introduction to Filipino culture brought a flicker of comfort amidst my swirling emotions. Kuya was a cousin of Mo. Agnes, the general mother superior of the Secular Institute of the Two Hearts (SITH), and his welcoming smile was a small beacon of hope in the unknown.
As we arrived at the Novitiate House, my senses were heightened. We were met by a group of professed sisters, the assistants to the head mother superior. At first glance, they appeared warm, but I soon learned that their intentions were more complex. Modeled after St. Don Bosco, they were meant to guide us in our formation, helping us navigate the treacherous waters avoiding sin. However, to me, they felt more like vigilant overseers—extra eyes for the mother superior, enforcing rules with an iron grip.
I remember being whisked away to the chapel as soon as we arrived in San Jose. The urgency of the moment was palpable; we needed deliverance from whatever evils we might have encountered on our journey. Deliverance ministry was a cornerstone of their practice, and this was our initiation into the spiritual realm we were about to inhabit.
As I entered the chapel, I hesitated, taking in the scene around me. There were about twenty of us—fellow newcomers from America, England, Australia, and a majority of Filipinos, each a complete stranger to me. In that moment, I felt both isolated and connected, united by the same uncertain path ahead.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted her—the veiled Mother Superior, addressed as Mo. Ethel. Her presence was commanding, a mixture of sternness and strength that demanded respect. An eerie feeling hung in the air, thick with expectations and the weight of what was to come. My gut instinct churned with an unsettling mixture of intuition and anxiety, the latter fueled by the ominous warnings from the sisters about what the Novitiate entailed.
Was it my intuition whispering truths about the journey ahead, or was it simply the anxiety of stepping into the unknown? As I stood there, caught between the two, I realized that this was just the beginning of a transformative experience—one that would challenge me in ways I could never foresee and shape the very essence of who I was meant to become. This was the moment I had been waiting for, and yet, deep down, I knew it would test me in ways I could never have imagined.
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Hey Katie. I started reading your blogs and your story is amazing. I got busy and got behind so now trying to catch up and got stop reading. These stores are unbelievable I am in shock and had no idea this was your whole journey. Thank you for sharing. Can’t wait to read more and see what happens.
I loved our basketball days and all our shenanigans. You were so funny and always had a positive outlook and bright light every day. I had no idea you had all of this going on.
Ok going to read on. You are amazing for sharing all this.